Red's Kingdom

I can take no credit for the odd, dreamlike quality of these two photographs. You’re looking at light bleeds and lots of airborne dust. That said, they capture this moment well, which saw me living in the attic of my late grandmother’s house while I gave the whole place a make-over in advance of the house being sold.

It was a house I loved, and rather a grand space in its modest way. I loved my grandmother too, so it was an odd and bitter-sweet thing to do, erasing both. I was conscious of the moment even then, hence my decision to take a self-portrait, prompted as much by the lovely light and the possibilities of all that floating dust as it was by personal vanity. I remember clearly that I was very tired when I sat on the floor for this photograph; I’d been sanding the walls and I was filthy, and I was remembering how things used to be in this house and who used to live there, and wishing, Peter Pan-style, I’d never grown-up.